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Years ago, I worked at a computer store. Employees were taught about “managing expectations.” In service industry lingo, that meant if you weren’t sure if a repair was covered under warranty, you didn’t promise the customer the repair was free. You’d moderate their expectations and let it be a happy surprise if you were able to get them what they wanted, rather than fall short of outsized expectations and face their wrath.
What I’ve realized in recent years is that managing expectations is not something I’m great at for myself. As a recovering people pleaser, I write long to-do lists and daydream about crossing everything off quickly, without regard for life’s realities. And life’s realities seem to have gotten a lot heavier and more unpredictable in recent years. Whether it’s aging, parenting, long covid, or the slow divestment of my self-worth from what I can accomplish for others, I can’t hustle like I used to. Still, I’m constantly tempted to set impossible expectations and then shame myself for not meeting them.
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